


A Light That Never Comes

by ubixuitous



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slightly ooc maybe?, nagisa's sad and self-deprecating and rei doesn't like it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 10:46:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2022207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ubixuitous/pseuds/ubixuitous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The world isn’t against you, my dear, it just doesn’t care." - Modern Life Is War [Witness]</p><p>- </p><p>Or the one in which Nagisa's not quite so sure of himself and Rei doesn't quite know what to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because I'm a sucker for angst but I'm also a loser for happy endings with my two favourite nerds.  
> The first chapter's a bit (well, quite) short, because it's nearly 3 AM and I'm incoherent. ;;
> 
> This takes place in their third year of high school; Makoto and Haru have already graduated and it is some time around mid-February, before the end of the school year.
> 
> Title was taken off of Linkin Park's single for their remix album, because I am unoriginal. ):

_Wednesday, 12:15 PM_

 

"Rei-chan, do you want to hang out today after school?" 

Finishing the last sentence on the page he was reading, Rei tore his gaze away from the book in his hands and cocked a slim, finely arched brow as his eyes landed on Nagisa. The young blond was pressed up against his side, eyes wide and hopeful, a cheerful smile playing across his lips as he awaited a reply from Rei. Rolling his eyes, Rei broke into a soft smile as he snapped the book closed and slid it into his backpack, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his neck as he shrugged, answering, "Sure. But let's not stay out for too long, shall we? I still have the History and English homework to do, and so do you!"

"I know, I know." Nagisa rolled his eyes in return, laughing, and nudged Rei playfully with his shoulder before leaning against the taller boy's side comfortably, staring out at the afternoon sun from the rooftop of their school building. 

It was strange, completing their third year of high school, without Makoto and Haruka. There was something that always left him wanting, uneasy and unsettled. Despite having Rei by his side during classes, during lunch breaks, and even on the train ride to and from school every morning and evening, Nagisa felt - for lack of a better word - lonely. He'd become more subdued this year, not quite as brash or outspoken. He was still himself, to say the least, but there was something to be said about the way he'd drawn into himself and seemed to be lost in his own thoughts far more often than deemed ordinary for a boy like him. 

And Rei - Rei understood. He too felt their absence, knowing that Nagisa probably felt it even more, with the swim club no longer active either. 

Nagisa closed his eyes, pale shafts of wintry sunlight falling upon his eyelids, outlining the veins there in bold red as everything else in his vision swam with blacks and yellows and whites and golds. It was still cold, he vaguely registered, pulling his jacket around himself more tightly, the cool February air hitting his face and drawing vapor from his breath. His fingers danced about on the floor beneath them, tracing over dust and last night's snow, following the bumps and dips of the cold cement until his digits came in contact with Rei's. He paused, thinking for a moment, before lacing his fingers through Rei's, not noticing- or perhaps ignoring - the way Rei's hand tensed for a few moments before relaxing again, warm fingers wrapping around his own and squeezing comfortingly. 

"Let's hang out today after school," Nagisa repeated, his voice soft and distant and not like himself. 

Rei squeezed his hand again. 

He heard, and did not see, Rei pull his book out of his backpack again, once more opening the page he'd stopped at earlier, no doubt studying for the upcoming Physics test next Monday. Nagisa's lips curled up in the faintest of smiles at this, a warm sense of pride blooming in his heart at the successful future Rei surely had before him. Pulling his hand out of Rei's grasp, Nagisa let his arms fall to his sides, head still resting against Rei's shoulder as he sighed. 

The temperature seemed to drop by another ten degrees as Nagisa felt himself drift off into a restless sleep, only to be woken up by Rei once again as the bell rang for their next class. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter again even though nobody likes short chapters but??? i can only seem to write when it's nearly dawn and then i have to sleep and wake up and :c  
> [also i might have forgotten where i was going with this fic for a moment but i definitely will try to finish it anyhow since this is an idea that keeps sort of coming and floating away quite often. sorry if it's moving too slowly though. ;;]

_Thursday, 6:27 PM_

 

Nagisa shoved his hands into his pockets, fidgeting and shifting his weight from one foot to the other, constantly in some state of movement in an attempt to stay warm. His lips tugged down into a pout, eyebrows drawn together in disapproval at the slow but steady pitter-patter of rain drops falling atop his clothes and head. Usually, Nagisa was never picky about the weather  _–_ he loved the sun and he loved the rain and he loved the snow more or less equally, but it was getting dark and he was running down with a cold and Nagisa simply did not have the patience to wait for the train in this weather. 

"You're warm." 

Nagisa blinked, looking up at the sound of Rei's voice, his gaze falling on the younger boy's frowning features. He'd barely registered Rei's hand against his forehead, barely registered just how close Rei was standing to him and for a moment, Nagisa forgot to breathe. His mouth opened and closed wordlessly; he'd look almost comical if it wasn't for the deep shade of red painting his cheeks and neck, warmth radiating from his skin and leaving him dizzy. 

"I'm alright," he managed, only a few moments too late as he finally remembered to breathe again. His voice sounded foreign to himself, dull and scratchy and it hurt to swallow. His ears were ringing too, no less, and all Nagisa could think to himself was that he was _not alright_. He wanted to go home, wanted to climb into bed and bury himself under the bedsheets, lost to the world and to his home because isn't what he was always the best at anyway? Losing himself? His thoughts were cut off by the screech of tyres skidding to a stop, the train coming to a noisy halt at the station.

Somewhere along the following space of time, Rei had gripped his arm and pulled him onto the train, guiding him to a seat at the opposite end before sitting him down, and Nagisa - Nagisa felt _so_ grateful, and _so_ overwhelmed, and - he was so tired. 

"I'm so tired," he murmured, glancing up at Rei with the faintest of smiles, and Rei's eyes softened as if he understood. 

"You should stay home tomorrow and get some rest," Rei offered helpfully, nodding seriously as he adjusted his glasses upon the bridge of his nose.

Nagisa wanted to laugh, because Rei would never understand. 

 

.

 

_Monday, 8:35 AM_

 

"Hi, Rei-chan!" 

Nagisa was beaming today, happy and bubbly and brimming with the excitement over a new day, and Rei smiled because  _this_ was how Nagisa was supposed to be and this is how he liked to see him. He liked to see the cheerful glint in those magenta eyes, the bounce in his blonde hair that showed that Nagisa had been feeling good, that he'd had the strength to shower early in the morning, to fix his unruly curls. He chuckled, handing the blond a set of papers, the pages jotted down with his neat handwriting, precise diagrams interrupting the slanted stroke of letters after every few paragraphs. 

"Hello, Nagisa-kun," he greeted, smiling in return as he adjusted the straps of his backpack over broad shoulders. "These are the notes from the classes you missed last Friday, by the way. I hope you are feeling much better now after that nasty cold. I would have come by your house to give these to you over the weekend so that you may have had the time to study more efficiently, but I had been caught up in a recent family engagement of sorts. I hope that perhaps...you do not mind it too much?"

His smile faltered and he had the decency to look genuinely worried, making Nagisa outright laugh, loud and boisterous. 

"I don't mind it at  _all_ , Rei-chan," Nagisa assured, a smile still playing at the corners of his lips as he shook his hair away from his eyes, clutching the notes to his chest. "Thank you. Really."

And Rei's heart might have maybe, possibly quivered just the slightest bit at the sweet, sweet smile Nagisa threw his way, but he ignored it because guys like him did not allow themselves to become puddles of emotion at the sight of their best friend smiling. They simply did not. He blushed anyway as Nagisa laughed again and linked their arms together, walking towards their class. 

Maybe today would finally be a good day for Nagisa. Rei had his fingers crossed. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ~The More You Know~ 
> 
> The Japanese academic year in most schools starts in around April and ends in March, and is divided into three semesters.  
> The first semester lasts from April to late July, followed by the second term starting in September and finishing in December, and the third from January to late March. Graduation at most schools takes place sometime in March, before enrollment for the next academic year begins.


End file.
